Dear Thanksgiving

Dear Thanksgiving,

You’re my favorite holiday. Why? Your simplicity. Family, friends, friends who’ve become family, turkey, & football. You carry such little expectation. I don’t have to purchase presents and worry about whether people will like ‘em. I just get to pack my presence. I just get to show up to the table. All I have to bring: an attitude of grateful. (Although sometimes I am asked to pickup & chef the mashed potatoes). Sure, some years, Mom and Nana get worked up in the kitchen, as they put on a show, to show their love through cooking. But it’s just because they want everyone to be happy. They want everyone to feel loved. They want today to feel special. That’s why they’re working so hard to make it perfect. After all, “work is love made visible.” But, if they get stressed out on this-here holiday, then you actually give me the perfect opportunity to remind them, “I love you regardless of whether you’ve cooked the perfect turkey! I don’t care if you think it could use more seasoning. Chefs aren’t allowed to critique their own dishes anyway! I don’t give a damn whether there’s the right amount of salt on the skin. I’m just happy to be here with you. And I’m gonna be asleep on the couch in 20 minutes anyway due to all this tryptophan.” Sure, some years, I might make a mistake and add too much cream cheese to the mashed potatoes. But perfection doesn’t matter today. Today, you remind us to recognize that nothing needs to be “better.” To see that even though I might’ve screwed up, I’m just happy to contribute to the collective feast we’re here to share together. You remind me to leave my anxiety about performance at the door. You remind me to shut off my phone, to relax my need to be responsive, to release my desire to produce more, more, more. You remind me that the only thing I need more of today is gratitude (and maybe a 2nd slice of pumpkins pie). You remind me to be Here, to be present. You remind me that whoever I’m with is enough. Even though, this year, I’m away from my family. Even though I’m on the opposite coast, you still remind me that I have everything I need already. Rather than focus on who’s missing, I can focus on how grateful I am to be welcomed by Big Rob, Gina, Gabby, & Robbie (friends who’ve become family). You do such a good job reminding me each year: “Trent, Be grateful for what you have. Be content with who you’re with. You have everything you need already. Even if the potatoes are a bit too creamy.”

So, thank you for being you, Thanksgiving.

I love you, Thanksgiving.

Until I see you again next year, I’ll do my best to carry this attitude of gratitude and share it with all my family, friends, and friends who’ve become family.

Grateful for you,

Trent

Bonus Questions

If you need some conversation-starting dinner questions, then just go ahead and ask:

• What are you grateful for?

• What’s your spirit animal?

I experimented with these at a mid-November Friendsgiving. The results were promising. (Shoutout, Art of Gathering Guru, Andy).

However, if you prefer to talk about politics or stir up family drama, then T. Kingin has some better-suited suggestions.

Not Thanksgiving related, but here’s some others to get the conversation flowing:

• If you wrote a book, what would the topic be?

• If you produced a song, what genre would it be?

• What’s your form of creative expression?

• What’s a streak you have going right now that you want to keep going?

• If a crucible moment is defined as a “challenging moment in our life that shapes us in some deep way and shifts our lens on the world”, then what’s a crucible moment that’s happened to you in the past 5 years? Past year?

• What’s an event that changed the course of your life that nobody else here knows? (Woah)

• If you could put your name on anything what would it be? (Anything that will stand the test of time)

• What’s a piece of advice that your 20 year old Self listened to that you wish you hadn’t?

• What’s a piece of advice that you’re listening to right now that your Self 5 years from now will wish you hadn’t?

• In what ways are you being kind to your Future Self? Not being kind?

• What’s a part of your Past Self that you need to let die?

• Who are the couples that you aim to emulate with your relationship? What aspects of their relationship do you admire? (Same question for friendships.)