Illusion of the Hierarchy

How often are we, “the mapmakers,” carving up our own Reality?

The org chart clearly states that my boss is a superior being to me. “Look at the box & the line that puts him above me!” 

But does that manifest itself when I pass him in the hallway or pull up next to him to take a pee?

No! In that moment, we’re just two dudes carrying on with our day, doing our business.

Two weeks ago, I passed a man on the street, who I know to be a billionaire. If I subscribed to The Money Hierarchy, it would suggest that he’s far, far, farrrrrrr superior to me.

However, in Reality, we were both just cruising on a post-dinner walk. He with his spouse. Me with my friend. Both lost in conversation, as we engaged with our companion. In that moment, there was no noticeable difference between us.

And yet, if I bought into the map of The Money Hierarchy, I would’ve been tongue-tied & star-struck. I would’ve elevated his worthiness, while diminishing my own.

Once I became aware of the illusion, I realized how silly it is.

There’s the classic reminder that:

(Side note: I wish I didn’t have to spend so much time & energy getting dressed every day… but that’s a different story.)

More to the point, it’s easy to see the ultra-expensive Loro Piana pant legs of the billionaires & superstars and still subscribe to the hierarchy. However, what’s missed in this reminder is that these people still likely carry the same fears, insecurities, and shame under their clothes. They also have their own set of hopes & dreams & desires.

We’re all the same. We’re all just trying to do our best to enjoy & contribute in this human experience.

Once I became aware of the fact that the hierarchy is my own layer to Reality, I asked myself:

Does this interpretation serve me? Is it in my best interest to believe in the hierarchy?

Put simply, here’s where I landed…

No. The hierarchy creates distance between myself and other people.

For the people I perceive to be Above me or “better than” me in some way:

• Idolizing them blocks our ability to create a neighborly connection

• Granted, there’s cases where I might have respect for people who have more earned wisdom than me in a certain domain. Maybe I want to tap into their expertise or learn from their experience. But I don’t have to elevate them to a super-human status in order to do that. I can still treat them like a friend. I ask my friends questions & celebrate their accomplishments all the time. But the tone is different than “Oh my God, you’re the greatest!!!!!!!” If I said that to my best friends, they’d probably slap the sarcasm right off that statement.

• And don’t get me wrong, the hierarchy can play a role in chain-of-command decision-making, but it’s utterly useless in weighing people’s relative dignity

For the people I perceive to be Below me or “lesser than” in some way:

• They’re humans too. Don’t they deserve the same dignity & respect? Maybe their expertise exists in a different area than what we’re addressing at the moment

• If I’m feeling more important than the service staff, then I’m probably ignoring how often I lean on them throughout my week. And I’m also ignoring how quickly my own luck can change…

We all have something to offer. None of us are any “better” or “lesser” than another.

The hierarchy is an illusion.

The hierarchy exists in our heads.

What does your map say?

Do you want to change it in any way?