High Standards

A healthy push on the Low Expectations idea from one of my friends:

If I'm going to expect so little from people, then it's in my long-term best interest to consistently surround myself with people who are unlikely to f**k me over.

After all, Giver burnout is real. If I'm constantly around people who have a tendency to take advantage of Givers, then this is another form of preparing for failure.

If I reach the point of emptying my own cup, then I have nothing left to give to anyone.

Yet, if I’m deliberate in exercising my choice of who makes it into my inner circle, then I’ll exist in a group that shares the intention of Contributing to the Collective.

I'll be around people who energize me, rather than drain me. It will be a virtuous cycle with cups overflowing.

That’s not to say I won’t ever give to those outside my circle. It’s just a reminder that I need to be aware of my everyday cup level.

When I’m in need of a retreat, maybe it’s time to go refill amongst family.

Then, once I’m feeling expansive again, I’ll be ready to broaden the circle & give it all away freely.

Everyone deserves to be seen. Everyone is Whole, no matter what they give to me.

I just want to remain aware of when I’m feeling the need to be on the receiving end of some giving.

So, to make the distinction clear:

Setting high standards for people who I decide to consistently associate with

VS

Setting low expectations for people who I’m already present with

At the dot of decision, it’s on me to answer these all-important questions honestly:

• Does this person want what's best for me?

• Do they accept me?

• Do they respect my boundaries?

• Do they tend to contribute themselves?

• Do they see me as part of their Collective?

Then, once I'm already with someone, it’s in my best interest to lower my expectations of them. This is the “preservation of happiness” tactic. Unlayering expectations to maintain contentedness.