The Judge

The Four Agreements introduced me to this idea that we all have a “Judge" in our head. He (or she or they or them or it)is a personified, presiding force that's ever-present. Our Judge is tasked with enforcing our individual "Book of Law" on others & ourself.

Our Book of Law outlines what's right vs wrong, fair vs unfair, cool vs square

Our Judge is constantly assessing who's in good standing

Law abiding citizens stay in our good graces

Violators will be prosecuted without mercy

Conflict arises when my Book of Law differs from yours

In this case, our Judges are enforcing different rules

Even if we appear to be playing the same game

That got me thinking...

What happens if I didn't have a Judge?

Is a rulebook required to inspire action?

Or can I simply operate by following intuition?

Can I do what’s natural?

Can I follow my heart?

And trust that, when I do...

I'm already "good" from the start?

So, today, I’ll send the Judge on vacation

He’s been working soooo hard

This is a minor consolation

I'll thank him for his service

After all, sometimes, I do appreciate his role

But I can tell that he's just a bit burned out (and so am I)

So, it’s time for him to kick it beachside solo

He works 24/7 to preserve my reputation

He knows that other people's Judges are watching me constantly

And he's acutely aware of how harsh they can be

So he preps me for this cruel world

By judging me internally

He loves to remind me whenever I complain

He meets my reticence with a quick exclaim:

“You know what would happen to you without a sophisticated Judge on duty?!?

Just look over there, look at that sloppy man with a fat a** booty?!?”

Or how ‘bout over there! That guy’s sooo boring. Is he even aware of how little people care?”

My Judge says he judges other people as a warning to me…

A warning for me of who I could eventually, unfortunately be

After stoking my fear, he turns to the jeer

He showcases the perfect idols

The stars I ought to admire

He reminds me: “You’re not as good as them”

(And he's convinced that I'll be inspired by this comparison)

“You barely did anything today.”

[“More, more, more”], he will often say

He does his job of perpetuating anxiety, doubt, fear

All in the name of making me act faster, push harder, & just generally "be better"

He never lets me forget:

"I’m not good enough... at least not yet"

I know this judgment comes from a good place (I guess...)

Like a helicopter parent who wants "what's best"

But I wonder... is there another option for filling his newly-vacant position?

What would happen if I replaced him with a new recruit?

When he's off at the beach,

What if I, instead, hired a Positive Coach to fill his unblemished, perfect shoes?