An Ode to my Dad

When I made the case for being selfish to my Dad, he met me with a nonchalant response:

He was shining a light on the fact that I didn’t have to be bothered by other peoples’ opinions.

He was once again showing that life would be simpler, had I only followed the wisdom of the father from the beginning…

I shouldn’t be surprised that this was my old man’s response. After all, my Dad is one of the most True Selfish people I know. He’s lived his life with this True Selfish approach.

In his late 20s, he decided that family was the most important thing to him. So, despite having the opportunity to build a lucrative career at a bank, he opted to sidestep the game and build a business of his own. He started a 2-person appraisal shop out of an office in our home, with my Mom serving as co-captain of Metropolitan. (Side note: this was in the 90s, making them OGs of the Work-From-Home movement.)

Despite the pushes from colleagues, friends, & the Joneses, he bypassed his chance to make more money. It wasn’t important to him. He knew he wanted as much time as possible with his kids. So, he trusted his intuition and made this True Selfish decision (with the loving support of his partner-in-action).

My Dad went on to coach a countless number of our soccer, baseball, basketball, and flag football teams. He didn’t rack up accomplishments in the business arena. But, he did gain notoriety in the youth sports community. It wasn’t because he tallied the most wins. It was because he was the coach for which every kid wanted to play. All of my peers knew that if they got on Coach Bill’s team, then they’d have the chance to get minutes, rather than be relegated to the leagues’ minimums. And, regardless of the team’s record at the end of the season, everyone knew they were guaranteed to have fun wit it. He didn’t take himself too seriously and that permeated to his players.

We didn’t grow up with the biggest house in the town. Nor did we have the nicest cars. In fact, we faced times when paying the mortgage and putting 3 kids through college was quite hard, especially during The Great Recession. And yet, Mom & Dad always made it work. They always made it work. Because they had the fuel that comes from living in alignment.

And, as a family, we were happy. The 3 of us kids saw our parents living aligned with what they valued. We still took vacations, but we didn’t fly first class or stay at the Four Seasons. We drove to the beach. We went camping in the Redwoods. My parents forewent a life of luxury to live their dream of having a close-knit family unit.

Us kids didn’t care either. Because, after all, kids don’t know any better. Instead, we thrived off the energy that our parents exuded. They were stoked for a couple-night getaway to Cayucos. And we were just stoked to walk to the candy shop and go boogy-boarding.

I don’t share this story to say that this is the “right way” to do things. It would’ve been “wrong” if my parents dreamed of a jet-setting, world-traveling existence.

There is no “right way.” The only “right” decision is to live in alignment. To choose what’s important… then actually do it.

Thank you, Dad, for being my role model, once again.

Now, when my Dad shares his wisdom in making these decisions, I listen. Because he’s walked the path. He’s earned the wisdom through lived experience. He’s taken the risk to do what’s honest.

He’s been bold enough to be True Selfish.