Restful vs Restorative

All credit to my friend, Thomas, who introduced me to this framework of his.

A couple years ago, I asked him, “What do you wish you had more time to do each week?”

His reply:

“Completely and relentlessly unplug. Even when I have some free time on the weekends, sometimes it doesn't end up being as restorative as I hope it would be. Restful and Restorative are different to me. I might get rest on the weekend, but not feel restored by the end of it.

When I'm just sitting on the couch watching a movie to procrastinate on work, then I might be resting, but that's not truly restorative time. I still have that work on my mind.

It’s counterintuitive, but sometimes my most active weekends can be the most restorative. If I go climbing with friends, then I come into the following week energized and ready. I was moving around all weekend, traveling, expending a lot of energy. But, by the end of it, I come out feeling fulfilled.

So, that’s restorative. I’m present with what I’m doing and I spent my time in a way that’s aligned for me.”

There’s no right answer to “Should I Rest or Restore this weekend?” 

The only correct answer is “What is my True Self asking for?” 

And that answer might suggest, “Both.”

It reminds me of my weekends in Venice Beach. Saturdays would often be an action-packed bonanza. I’d go from a morning surf session to beach volleyball with friends to dancing on the rooftop with the band playing. By the end of it, my soul was filled, even though my tank was empty.

So, then, I would take an Airplane Mode-assisted digital detox day on Sunday. Walking on the beach, laying on the couch, watching movies & just hanging out.

The balance of the two is what helped me enter the next week in a state of alignment. I came out of it feeling rested & restored. Aligned & present.

Here’s a Venn-diagram-based representation of the TAM of Time over the course of a weekend.

My aim is to fill out the green circle with as much blue as possible.

If I’m in need of Rest, then I don’t mind if the blue circle is entirely yellow. Watching a movie. Sleeping in. Just hangin’. If that’s what my body’s requesting.

Some weekends, if I have a lot of energy, then the yellow might be small, but the blue might be YUGE! Surfing, running, going out with friends. If it’s coming from a place of alignment and it’s done with presence, then my cool blue circle just keeps on expanding.

But, my aim is to leave as little green showing as possible. Excess green is a signal to me that I’m using my time in a misaligned way. I didn’t do what I wanted to or I wasn’t present in what I chose to pursue. Thomas's example of watching a movie while thinking about work would go in the green circle.

There’s no “correct” proportion here. This is just my intention. Every weekend, the Venn Diagram do be changin’.