Be a Selfish Giver

Dear Trent,

Giving doesn’t have to be miserable. Instead, when you give when inspired, when remembering your abundance, then you know that giving can make you quite cheerful. Also, realize what you give will ultimately come back to you.

I know this advice feels cliché. Many-a-times before, it’s been said & sang:

But the thing about cliches, often they’re true… but let’s unpack the nuance. I don’t want to mislead you.

Realize that the return won’t be quid pro quo. This is NOT a transactional kind of reciprocation.

“I bought you dinner this week so you’ll get me back next week.”

No-no-no!

Rather, the return on your giving comes in the form of existing amongst individuals in a positively-charged system. After all, you exist in the ecology in which you live. So, you’ll get to be around a person who feels loved, seen, and supported.

If “hurt people hurt people” and “loved people love people,” then the recipient of your giving will be more likely to love the people around them (read: you).

(Note: this isn’t a guarantee, so don’t carry the expectation that they’ll send love back your way. But, it does raise the odds of a positive response. You’ve tested being an a**hole. Experiment run. Experiment failed. You know this action is effectively guaranteed to produce a combative response. )

There’s another immediate, selfish benefit of giving: you get to feel good about it.

You’ll implicitly signal to yourself: “I have enough, since I’m in a position to give some away.”

• It could be money - buying a friend dinner

• It could be gifts - presents under the tree

• It could be time - going along with what someone else wants to do because your desires are already fulfilled. This is the feeling of “I’m all good. I’m just happy to be here with you”

• It could be attention - truly listening to the person across from you

• It could be thanks - no excuses on this one… it’s free & easy (you can always pack an attitude of gratitude, since there’s always 1 thing you can be grateful for)

• It could be grace & forgiveness - because you know you’re not perfect

Giving gives you the permission to bask in this warm sensation of having enough. And having enough is the gateway drug to being enough. (And don’t get me started on the happiness that’s felt when this state is achieved remembered.)

Also, you’ve decided that giving love, inspiration, & a positive message to other people is your purpose. Thus, this act of giving is your way of living in accordance.

So, Be True Selfish… and give.

Give it all away.