The Shot Clock

Dear Trent who's in a rush,

Don't be. It's not worth it. There's a million fortune-cookie-wisdom-bites that make reference to this topic but just recall the one that's been working lately: "Never rush. Never cease." (A minor modification to Goethe's "Never hurry. Never cease." But alas, a minor modification that works for me.)

You're rushing because your expectations exceed your reality. You're afraid there won't be enough time, money, attention, food, water, satisfaction to go around. You're playing a zero-sum game. So, you're rushing in an attempt to "fit it all in" to the constrained pizza pie. You're in a race to acquire more, more, more while you can. I'm writing to remind you that trying to cram more in is unnatural (and more isn’t always more anyhow).

I'd encourage you to first decide what actually matters to you. Ruthless prioritization is a gift to your Future Self. It gives you clarity as you're thrust forward into an uncertain abyss. Do the upfront work to get aligned, then, just do your best. Although this sounds like a Little League cliche, I'll repeat it again anyway: "Just do your best." That's the only expectation to ever set.

In the past, you made it a habit to exist in a constant state of rush. You would optimize your schedule down to the minute. Each activity had its tidy lil calendar allocation. A claim on your day. Demanding your attention.

Each activity had a preset shot clock before it had even begun. As soon as the shot clock went off, you had to move on to the next one.

This approach led to maximum efficiency. Not a moment was wasted. You certainly "never ceased." But, what you gained in efficiency, you lost in flexibility & presence. Here's what I mean...

First, you stuffed your scheduled so full, like an all-meat calzone, that you left no margin for error & no margin for nature.

Remember the days when your morning routine would operate like a military regiment?

• Wake up at 5:30am.

• Wash face and put on workout gear for 5 minutes.

• Meditate for 15.

• Morning mantras for 10.

• Stretch for 10.

• Then, race to meetup with a friend. Run for 60 minutes.

• Coffee walk with another compadre for 45.

• Breakfast with another - you would often budget 40 here.

• Then, rush back to shower for 15, change for 5, commute for 20, before arriving at work.

• Once there, you would have 5 minutes to grab a 2nd coffee & an avocado from the kitchen, before being greeted by the full slate of calls & meetings that awaited.

• It's now 9:20AM (for those doing the math at home). Just enough time to reply to some email & prep for the first 9:30AM call.

Woof. I'm exhausted just writing about it. But, to be clear, you did love it in the moment. You had no choice but to be in the zone. And you loved to execute with ultra-tight precision. But, not always. It didn't always play out this way. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances would get in the way...

• You budgeted 15 minutes for showering and 5 for changing before the commute. What you did NOT budget for was the 10 minute delay when today would become a "poop day."

• You planned for a 20-minute bike ride into the office. What you didn't account for is that all the Citi Bikes would be gone when you showed up. But that's ok. You would just audible, jumping into an Uber. But what you didn't account for is the driver to make a wrong turn on 23rd St that would cause your delayed ETA to be pushed even further.

• Now, you made it to the office… Phew! The race is over! Nope... psych! You just scheduled 3 hours of back-to-back Zoom calls. Did you really believe that your post-run, excessive hydration wouldn't create the need to pee?

Somehow you would forget that your basic bodily functions didn't care how optimally you wanted to operate.

In the pursuit of max efficiency, there was no flexibility. There was no space. You were gripping so tightly to your tight schedule that you lost control over the future that was never yours to control in the first place. Oh, and now, you would habitually show up late.

Second, you eventually became aware of the false equivalency of time allocated ≠ attention given.

This required an informal intervention with a couple of your closest friends, when they said, "How much time do we get at this meal? We know you have a precise time that you're already set on leaving..." (Thank you for the brutal honesty, Andrea & Robbie).

They were aware of the shot clock already ticking in your head. You were already concerned about staying "on time." You were already thinking ahead to "what's next." And this became apparent to your friends in your lack of presence.

Just as you'd sit down to this breakfast, you'd already be visualizing your departure in exactly 40 minutes. The distracting thoughts running in your head:

• “I wonder what time it is…”

• Has it already been 30 minutes?"

• “Sh*t. I’m going to be late for work.”

• "Sh*t. I didn't budget time to sh*t."

• (The thoughts circulating as your friend provides their deep life update.)

You'd pull out phone with an apologetic, “Sorry, just need to let my next meeting know that I’m going to be late.”

Your friend would realize that your attention wasn’t with them for the last 5 minutes (or maybe even longer???)

This is no way to live. The gift you have to give is your attention, not just your time. At the end of the day, people care about actually being seen, not just being stared at. So, try to create the space to be present. Do both of you a favor and keep your phone off the table.

(Pro tip: if you have a hard stop, then set a timer on your phone, but don't try to keep track in your head. That just becomes an unnecessary split in your attention. Outsource that timetracking to your pocket robot.)

I know your ego loves to swell when it's praised on how much you're able to accomplish in a day.

It's music to your ears when you hear, "I don't know how you do it. How do you have the time?!?"

As much as you want to answer, "I'm a tactician, an expert at scheduling down to the minute. I know how to extract maximum value from each moment."

That's simply not the truth. The honest answer is "I don't. I'm always rushing. And I always feel behind. I'm afraid to make the tough decisions on who & what to prioritize."

I know your attempt to "fit it all in" often comes from a place of caring & a lust for living. You have sooooo many people who you love and only a finite time to meet with them. You have sooooo much you want to experience before you greet your death. But, the sooner you prioritize what to do & who to meet with, the sooner you can actually be with them & arrive in the moment.

Just try turning off the shot clock and see what happens. I dare you to test setting clear priorities, then surrendering to doing your best. You don't have to try it forever. I'm just challenging you to test the experiment.

You're living the same 24 hours in the day whether you optimize them or let them flow freely. How are you experiencing your 24? Like Speedy Gonzales or Mr. Jack Bauer?

Happy Poop Day!

T. Happy